21

Turning 21st is kind of a big deal but I still don't really know why. Maybe it's when you're finally able to vote, going to clubs, drinking and  responsible for all the  you've done. Being in 21st means that I am in the "pre-adult" stage and no longer a teenager. However, I still kinda having troubles to get my shit together. I didn't get to live my 21st as I expected. I always dreamt of spending my 21st birthday in London and attending my dream university. Well, I guess God has another plan for me. Tho I may not know the reason, but as the Psalms 37:5 had stated "Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." It had been challenging year for me. Having to go thru 3 finals in a year was a real torture. Semester 1 was a total flop for me. I couldn't step out of my comfort zone and didn't study as hard as I should be. Learning from my own mistakes, I worked the hell out of myself for the next 2 semester and managed to save my cGPA by God's Grace. Out of the first 3 semester,  I would choose semester 3 as the highlight. I've learnt so much in semester 3. People who knew me well knows that I tend to get anxious and over-think easily. When I was waiting for my results, I hope that I can aced it but at the same time I am worried that I might fail it. I realised the reason that I am always self-conscious is because I expect too much from myself. Thus, I tried to accept whichever result that I've got as long that I've put enough of effort in whatever I do.  

Turning 21st, I've learnt to accept myself for who I am and I think I've learnt a bit more about myself now. I really liked the lyrics from "Palette" by IU and I find the Chinese translations brings out the meaning more accurately. 

"I like it I'm twenty five

我知道你討厭我

I got this I'm truly fine

現在好像更了解我了

因為還小所有事都很難

因為會痛所以是青春”

Although my 21st might not be exciting as others, I am really grateful for God's guidance throughout all these years.    

I dedicate this blog to myself as a reminiscence of my 21st.